When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do
is take a comb to my stache, and run it right through.
I look in the mirror, and lick it like a champ,
to get the flavors from the night before,
the flavors from a tramp.
The stache has it's own number, and the ladies always call,
the stache is a lethal weapon, which weakens knees till they fall.
when I step in the club, I give my stache a good touch,
the power of the stache is incredible,
and could be too much.
There are often times, my stache has to hide,
cause of demands from women who want rides.
Nowadays I make appointments, for the ladies who pay.
But if you're lucky,
I'll give one away.
Staches are a symbol, of the mightiest men,
if you have a stache, you'll always have friends.
if you're intimidated by the stache, there's a reason why
because staches are mean,
and make infants cry.
The stache is amazing, and it's worn by famous men
they know what it's for, it's a snack that keeps giving again, and again
if you are clueless who these people might be,
keep on reading the poem, and you will see.
Tom Selleck has a mustache, but his is subpar
to the stache on Wilford Brimley that's bigger than a car.
The Pringles can guys is stachastic, but not as pretty
as the stache on the porno god of Ron Jeremy.
Captain James Hook, yeah he had a stache,
but Burt Reynold's had one that would kick Hook's ass.
Remember Ned Flanders stache? that one was groomed
but nothing looked better than Mario's when he was on shrooms.
Hitler had a moustache, and we're glad that he's gone
Sgt. Slaughter had a better stache that could do no wrong.
Hulkster had a stache but no body cares
because Borat's was nice and had finer hairs.
Robert Goulet had a stache, and was far from homo
it was almost as good as good as the late Sunny Bono's.
That musician Yani, he had one like me,
but there's no way in hell it's better than Ron Burgundy's.
Jeff Foxworthy might be redneck, cause had has a stache
is it better than Richard Prior's? I'm gonna pass.
Lando Calrissian sported a stache it gave him a thrill,
and that loser tried copying him, give it up Dr. Phil.
We can never forget Yosemite Sam's stache too,
But Ron Swanson has a stache that's better than all of you.
