For Chi

I don’t know why I’m writing this. Since finding out about Chi’s passing a few nights ago it’s been on my mind, yet there is not much emotion towards it. I haven’t cried, I haven’t acted differently or anything. I know we all handle things in our own way, and I’m sure it’ll hit me sooner than later. I can’t even say that I’m listening to the Deftones more because of Chi’s passing, honestly aside from a few bands here and there, I only listen to the Deftones haha. I will say this though… Over the past few years like many of you fans I’ve been following Chi’s progress. I mentioned this before on the Deftones Familia Facebook page that I often thought about Chi making a full recovery and how he’d react to everything that’s gone on since his coma started in late 2008.  I always wondered what he would say to all the love and prayers that’s been spread in honor of his tragedy the past 4 years. When I say love and prayers, I mean the benefits, the donations, the letters, the love, the concerts, the EVERYTHING that’s gone on in honor of him. I’d wonder what he’d think of the bands past two albums. I know he’d be proud of where they were. I thought about his first time back on the stage and how he’d rock out. I thought about all that a lot.

Now I don’t want to bore the few who will read this so I’ll try not to make this long. I don’t have any stories with personal conversations with Chi but I was able to meet him once. I started listening to the Deftones because my friend Dave (who is responsible for getting me into a good majority of the bands I listen to today) played the Around the Fur album on his stereo system in his basement one time. The first Deftones song I ever heard was (technically Teething from the CROW soundtrack) “Be Quiet and Drive.” I don’t know what it was about that song but I was hooked almost instantly. Of course after that my friend played “My Own Summer” and that was it. I needed to own this album. Every Friday night my friends and I would go to the mall because it was what the cool kids did in high school in 1999 and we were freshman at the time so of course that’s where we’d go. When we got to the mall I instantly went to the WALL a music store, and picked up the cassette of Deftones album along with Slipknots first album. Needless to say the Slipknot tape sat on the shelf for a good month or so cause I was hooked on Around the Fur. Eventually I bought Adrenaline and played that out along with Around the Fur til my ears bled. Wherever I went and had my Walkman with me, those tapes came along for the trip.

Later on that Summer my friend had gotten this promotion card in the mail from one of the CD stores at the mall called CD WORLD. He came running into the room, punched me in the arm and yelled.”THE DEFTONES ARE GONNA BE SIGNING THEIR NEW ALBUM AT CD WORLD!!!” I screamed out some profanities, which my friend’s mom wasn’t a fan of, but oh well. I was too excited to punch my friend back. As the postcard read, the Deftones were doing an autograph signing for the release of White Pony at midnight the day it comes out (which was also Chino Moreno’s birthday). I remember getting to the mall that day before it closed (probably around 8pm) and waited in line with all my friends. That night even though I don’t remember it well, I met Chi. The cops were very pushy that night trying to get people moving along. They had this whole purchase process thing going on where you’d buy the cd, 2 different lines, and a pain in the ass law enforcement that didn’t want to be there in the first place. I really wish I were able to have a conversation with Chi but that wasn’t the case that night. My friend Scott and I went into Spencer’s gifts and bout Chino this mega huge birthday card with half naked chicks on it for his birthday and had everyone sign it. I wonder if he still has that.

The picture below is of Chi Cheng and one of the township cops who was going to kick me out of the line for making a ruckus with my friends. Come to find out that he was a good friend with my uncle and every time there was a signing at that store he put me in front of the line regardless of how late I was. That was awesome, too bad I didn’t know him sooner. Someone posted this on one of the Chi Cheng pages and I almost crapped myself when I saw the cop haha.

Another story about the Deftones was when I was a Junior in high school.  Now listen, I really hate that I did this. I was a different kid in high school, and I spent most of my time being a wise ass. Surely things have changed since, but yeah… here it goes. My friends and I got the update on all things that were being released from the CD WORLD store. Since I was a friendly named basis with all the workers at CD WORLD they would inform me about cool things with my favorite bands. One of the workers named Gabe had informed me that the Deftones were coming out with a live DVD with them in Hawaii. It was going to be around $15. So the day arrives that the DVD is coming out and I’m flat broke. I’m 17 with a job, but of course I had responsibilities and needed to save for my future (mom made me haha). I was going into history class and saw these little money collection boxes that said UNICEF on them. Anyone not familiar with UNICEF it stands for United Nations Children’s Fund. So I took one of the boxes and started collecting money during lunch and what not. I was able to collect like $20, maybe a bit less and was able to buy the DVD after school. I’m not proud of what I did, but it shows the love that I had for the Deftones. That money was given back a few years later as I donated back to UNICEF, and I donate to various organizations every year (St. Jude’s, ASPCA, and local authorities like police and fire departments, and first aid squads).

I just want to thank Chi for everything. Chi and Fieldy were the two reasons I picked up the bass guitar. Fieldy with his style of playing, and Chi with his style of playing just made it seem so cool.  I want to thank him for giving me music along with the whole Deftones band. I’ve listened to so many bands in my days and I can honestly say through all the genres of rock/metal/hardcore I’ve been through the Deftones have stayed put in my music rotation. They never disappoint. I regret not listening to “Saturday Night Wrist” because when it came out I was in the hospital for 3 months with a leg infection and for some reason I just couldn’t get into any kind of new music at the time.  Deftones music has always been there for me. When a band makes a great album, you can listen to it a million times and it’ll never get old. It’ll never be overplayed, and it’ll surely never escape your mind. The Deftones have managed to do that with every album for me.

To anyone who managed to read this far, I just want to say thank you. It’s not a big story, but these were my memories about the Deftones and Chi Cheng.

To Chi: I know you’re gone from this world, but that doesn’t mean you’re gone anywhere else. Your shell may be put in the ground, but your spirit is floating through and shining on through each and every single person you’ve touched in your 42 years of existence. Every person has a story, memory, a good time, a bad time that they can reflect upon and share with one another. That’s why the Deftones family is so special. Surely people have stories and memories with their favorite bands, but this one is different. I’ve never felt so much love and respect between each fan as I do with the Deftones. When you’re at a show you can feel it. Everyone together, it’s there. There’s so much love there for Chi from every one that it’s impossible and I mean IMPOSSIBLE for him to ever really be gone.

There will be a special place in my heart for Chi.

One love to the Deftones family.